torn between loneliness and drama!

So my first reaction to dealing with all the crazy drama one has to go through when trying to be social, and with all the wrong people, was to just run away! So for the past week I've been essentialy avoiding people and situations that seem to be drama prone for me.  It's worked, I'm finally relaxing a little bit, but now i'm feeling lonely again! it sucks, id almost sacrifice it all just to be able to kick it with some homies! lol

Now i'm not a popular person at all, I have alot of "friends" and alot of aquantinces... i've been shut in before, i've been alone for over a year! Im used to it and at the same time im sick of it!  So im feeling torn, after a long day at work im ready to blow off some steam. i really dont like drinking alone so im usualy on the phone tryin to find somethin to get into.  lately tho its been more beneficial to just go home and sleep instead of going out and dealing with more bullshit.  plus not having internet at the house makes being alone excruciating lol.

not sure what this post is really about, maybe im not the only one that feels like this. its kind of flustering when you stare at a call from someone and cant decide on weather or not to pick it up.  Ive blown off a couple dates with crazy girls thinking it would be a disaster and ive left friends houses early cause they wanted to anti-cake on the phone while trying to play some zombies... seriously guys, if you're older then 25 and still arguing with your girlfriend over silly things you need to do something. I dont understand guys these days, arguing, ignoring, cheating, and just being mean to their girlfriends. lol slow down mark, save it for another post.

this song reflects my mood perfectly